Chasing the Light, Essays, Stories

Chasing the Light

Light flowed gently over the serene face of the newly baptized child. Her golden curls crowned a carefree smile as she grabbed her godmother’s finger. Soft spoken babbling soon followed. Clouds of incense mixed with the colours of stained glass as they rested with sighs of rested hearts.

‘Grija cea lumeasca sa o lepadam.’ I can’t remember the words in english, although I sung them today. What is the heart and why does it beat unceasingly? Why does it tremble with awe when we see a blossomed valley in spring? Why does it become light with joy when we see the face of a loved one? Or why does it sink in the depths of our ocean when we grief or feel unloved.

What are you running for? Or should I ask, who are you running from? Is it yourself or the lurking shadows of your soul? Who are you…really? Are you stardust or a grain of sand? ‘In veselie omul exista, se misca.’ A beloved father who lived by the sea used to say that. He means that joy is the natural state of a person’s heart. When you love someone, you give them your time, you rest in them and they rest in you. We run because we need to feel worthy of rest, we need to feel worthy of love.

‘Every person needs to learn from childhood how to spend time with oneself.’ Who said that? Ah, it was a russian boy with a warm heart and a keen eye. He’s famous now, but I believe he wants to be remembered by his stories, more than by his name. Silence is truly wonderful for listening. In order to be silent one must stop running.

‘Here you are, Izabella.’ her mother said as she helped godmother put on Izabella’s white, frilly dress. Izabella giggled with the all knowing laugh that only children have. The echoes filled the church and softened its grey stone walls. It hoped to hear the little girl’s laughter more often in the future. She could play on its worn out persian rugs and it could shelter her from the rain and the world. The church wanted Izabella to rest in it. They could sit in silence together and think of matters of the heart. Because when you can be silent with someone, it is truly special.



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